Let me tell you a story of my situation. Part 5

by fietscyclery


So yeah they’re pretty awesome! Amazingly convenient and as an invention arguably the most important… Shame they cost the earth quite a bit! Epitome of personal transport in modern day society though and I probably love them equally as much as I love bikes, to be honest… If it didnt take me 20 minutes to cycle to work compared to 30 minutes driving, I would probably still drive every day. But I’m really impatient you see, and sitting in traffic around idiots is not my ideal way of spending half hour of my morning. Plus people are so angry in rush hour. Like fuck… chill out! We’re all going to get where we need to go… Overtaking that bus that’s halfway pulling out of the lay-by is not going to shorten your journey by 30 minutes ffs!!

Sorry, but that impatientness (is that even a word?) and road rage is quite funny though.. We will always feel safe in our little metal box thing so we shout at others or beep our horns when we feel someone has wronged us, yet if you walked somewhere and someone perhaps walked in front of you, you’d think twice about shouting or waving your fists at them wouldn’t you? Think about it… Anyway, I do like cars. I like them alot. Jeremy Clarkson is quite possibly my favourite celebrity!

I remember as a kid my parents owned a Toyota Cressida and as soon as I found out it was a 2.0 litre, 24 valve engine with a Straight 6 engine, I was obsessed and had to find out more about other cars. I even looked down on lesser Toyota Cressida’s if they were anything below ours but I guess that’s just my snobbery coming into play. My family and where I grew up were quite car orientated though. Every weekend the neighbours would throw a braai and there would turn up a bright yellow Ford Capri, a 1964 Ford Mustang in red and a beige Ford Sierra XR8. My dad owned a Seirra too.. Now it’s all well and good liking cars, but I dont know if you noticed but all the pictures I’m posting are of cars atleast 20 years old bar one. There’s just something else in me that makes an older car more desirable, more attractive even. Like you know your original Golf GTI’s, your Open Astra GTE’s, and especially your E28/E30 BMW’s. I dont know why, it’s probably the old square shapes, and the fact that they are just so mcuh cooler than the stuff being churned out of the factories today. I mean take the difference between VW’s 1990 Scirroco and compare it to Vauxhall’s Astra of the same era, completely different cars. Yet the similarity between the two 2012 models is fucking crazy. They’re pretty much teh same car… Fuck off Vauxhall, Fuck off VW!!! Laziness to be honest. Corporate culture has kicked in and now everyone is driving around in the same thing but it must be amazing cus it has 10 airbags no?

So that being said, it’s only natural that I own an old Ford of some sort right? Wrong! Think more 1990 VW Golf GTI. In my opinion the best Golf VW ever made (but I would say that wouldnt I?!) and 24 years old as I type this, in fact I’m only older than it by a month… After I received my 6 points  on my license Diane always asked why I didnt sell it.. bitch be cra\y! I mean thats like me asking her to sell our dog, Freddy, who I’m 100% certain she loves him more than me, pffft! But yeah to give you an idea thats how it makes me feel when she asks that and I’m sure she’ll ask it again… I spent a good 2 years saving up for it, plus lets not mention how hard it is to find a good solid example these days. I even put a £50 deposit on one local in Ringwood but didnt return as I wasnt 100% happy.. that’s £50 I’ll never see again!!

In the end a 8 hour round trek to Derby was where we headed to pick up His Hurbertness, or Hurbert the Pervert!

This is probably a car I’ll own for life, so in the first four years of ownership not much has happened really. Mainly because I couldnt afford to do anything as adulthood quickly made use of all my disposable income. But I’m sure as I get older it’ll get more attention as I snap necks and cash cheques! Besides, I’m more than self sufficient for every day on my bike and tend to get most things done like food shops, seeing m8s etc plus Diane drives anyway if I need to go far places.


I’ll probably post regular updates here as if it were a “build thread”. I do frequent the forum Edition38 but dont really want to post a thread on there as I really dont like the idea of guys commenting “nice car m8” for 24 pages just because I lowered my car and bought some BBS RS or them telling me their opinionz. That’s just my 2p though!

Dont worry though, as I get older and have more disposable income (or does it not work that way?!) I’m sure I’ll still make time for cycling. I noticed that Michael 2 Pints has probably only been on 3/4 proper rides since his return from Paris as he recently passed his test and got his dad to buy him a VW Lupo. I wonder when the last time he cycled to work was eh Michael?! Also he sticker bombs so probably best not to have him hanging around with us, thats so 2009…


Anyways, bike post soon, I’m still on the lookout for a fixie…